Naughty Boy
by Madarao The Authoress
Summary: Edward and Roy go to a store to buy a pregnancy test after a doctor tells them Ed is pregnant. And can you expect these two to go to a store for something like this and act normal? Psh. preggers!Edward, mild RoyEd  not even kissing , my attempt at humor


**Okay, so... Lunch brings craziness. Read, and then I'll talk. **

**Edward: So we're back to that again?**

**Roy: You didn't say... anything. o.o**

**Me: Oh, shut up!**

**Thanks to Pandah Rhia! I was having trouble with a title, so she gave me this one. She also wanted be to make it a non drabble, but I like it where it was. xD  
**

**Warnings: Eddo's preggers! And foul language. Probably some OOCness, too, but I'm not sure...  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. This isn't my dream world, is it?  
**

* * *

"Well, I don't believe it. So I'm doing it." Edward pouted as he slid out of Roy's car, slamming the door. As he waited for his lover to get out of the car, he crossed his arms and tapped his foot. "Hey, old man! Hurry the hell up, would ya? Neither of us is getting any younger!" Roy glared at him through the windshield and reluctantly got out.

"I'm not happy about this."

"You should have thought about that before you knocked me up.

"I didn't know I _could_ knock you up!" The other woman in the aisle looked at them funny and Roy realized he'd said it too loud. "You didn't tell me, so how the fuck was I supposed to know?" he hissed, voice low again.

"I didn't know, either." Edward admitted, squatting down and sifting through boxes of pregnancy tests.

"I can't believe you made me come with you."

"It's your fault. You deserved to. Now be quiet; I'm thinking."

"Sounds dangerous." Roy muttered, earning a punch in the shin from Edward. The blond was still knelt on the floor, picking up boxes with different names and reading the backs. Most every time, he made a face and threw it back onto the shelf. Fed up after about five minutes of that- staring at passing cars and pedestrians could only be entertaining for so long- Roy growled and got down on his knees beside Edward. "How the fuck can this take so long?"

"I don't know what I'm doing!"

"Obviously." The dark-haired man grabbed one of the boxes, pulled Edward up with him, and dragged him to the front of the store.

"What if it's not the right one?" Edward screeched, trying to pull his collar out of Roy's grip and digging his heels into the linoleum tile. Note to the unwise: Shoe soles slide on linoleum. The only thing Edward succeeded in doing was making loud squeaking sounds.

"Edward! Stop it, dammit!"

"Bu-but, Rooooo~y!"

"Shut up!" The pregnancy test was slammed onto the counter, the teenage clerk looking up at the two good-looking men. Edward decided to stop arguing, and he jerked his collar out of the man's hold. A box of Pocky was added to their pile.

"Ooo, so is someone's wife preggers?" she asked, giggling. Roy burst out laughing and Edward glared daggers at the girl. "Did I say something wrong? I mean, you _are_ buying a pregnancy test." The dark-haired man was on the floor by now, howling with laughter and clutching his sides. Everyone in the store was staring as well.

"Shut the fuck up!" Women gasped and covered childrens' ears. Edward picked up the test and threw it in Roy's face. "Now go piss on it, bitch!" He stomped his automail foot and jabbed his finger in the direction of the bathroom.

"Sirs, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave." the cashier said calmly. "Before I call security."

"Fine!" Edward tossed some money- probably too much- onto the counter, grabbed the Pocky, and stooped to grab the test from the floor by Roy's head. Then he stomped out of the store, bell chiming. That left his lover to pick himself up and apologize before he left.

"Did you really have to make such a scene?"

"Did _you_ really have you laugh?" Roy frowned and glanced at his younger lover, who was reading the back of the package with an upset expression on his face. "After all, it _is_ all _your_ fault."

Roy laughed even harder when the test was positive- and Edward. Fucking. Panicked.

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**At lunch today, Susannah and I were talking about the last chapter of my story, Perfect Lies and Absolute Truths**. **We got on the subject of home pregnancy tests, and... then we came up with this one. And you just know I had to write it. Unfortunately, I fail at writing humor. If someone were to tape me at school, you'd get a kick out of it. But I can't write it. Regardless, I hope you enjoyed this little drabble from me! **

**PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW! =3 It makes meh happy. **

**Edward: Hm, guess she didn't have a lot to say today.**

**Roy: The world is ending.**

**Me: Nah! I'm just saving it for when I post the chapters of my stories and the sequel to Fading Too Fast. Whoopsies! Spoilers! Teehee! -covers mouth- Ciao!**

**hugs&kisses~ Madarao  
**


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